2
I was shocked, shocked I say!

1
Now what? (sighing in resignation)

2
I saw just yesterday the way we peel bananas is all wrong! It’s a wonder they haven’t affected our health or something. (shuddering) Maybe they have and the government has classified the report as ‘top secret’.

1
Look, a bunch of scientists got together and decided the ‘proper’ way to eat a banana in 1700 something. Or was it 1800 something? I forget. But, remember scientists were amateurs back then and they didn’t always get things right, though they did fairly often.

2
Yeah, yeah. It was probably some joker on a government committee that convinced his colleagues to go along. He told them it would mess with ‘ the great unwashed’ and ‘those people’ on the continent for generations to come. They had a good laugh, wrote up the paper, published it and went out for some beers. I bet that’s it.

1
Now, now.

2
Or it might have been a misguided effort to differentiate us from the apes. You remember the Church was big into that idea even within our time? They thought evolution was contrary to creation. Fear is a prime motivator, you know.

1
Yes, our old buddy Lao said it best. High position and low position are the same, if you are high you fear becoming low and if you are low, you fear never becoming high. Significantly, there is no real difference in how those two very different circumstances affect people (spiritually and therefore, behaviorally).

But you know you can eat a banana from top down or bottom up without any difference, just how easy it is to peel, really.

2
OK, OK. Now, about this equinox thing just last week. I don’t get that either.

1
Is easy. It’s the day the earth’s equator, in its tilty, spinny, orbity motion passes the center of the sun. Twice a year, buddy, March and September. So half the year the sun rises in the North and the other half in the South, traveling East to West.

2
So a couple of times a year the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, truly. That’s it?

1
Yes, other days it seemingly goes further away until the solstices or furthest position, then it appears to start back from either North or South.

2
But if it kept going North or South we would be in some serious trouble? And magnetic North is not True North?

1
Correct, we would be if the earth wobble kept on going until we flipped over. And earth’s magnetic field moves around some, so science has determined True North and agreed upon it as convention.

2
Wow!! What if they got it wrong, just like bananas? What about GMT? Aliens? Boy George? Now I am going to have a headache!

1
Well, I don’t know about aliens or Boy George, but the rest doesn’t matter, it’s just so we know we are talking about the same thing when we say ‘it’s five o:clock somewhere’ or ‘it’s gone South’ (it doesn’t work right anymore )! None of it matters all that much on a day-to-day basis except we get the idea.

2
It matters to airplanes and ships and stuff!

1
They just use Loran and these days GPS, just like our phones, except we need cell towers and they don’t because they can directly access those satellites for position.

2
Are you saying since cell phones all this doesn’t matter anymore?

1
Yes, pretty much. Ear buds, virtual reality, Google maps*, unlimited minutes and texting matter, the rest, not so very much! Not even those social networking sites, not any more.

*personally, I am amazed the number of tourists who don’t use Google maps, instead they attempt to use that confusing map they give to tourists, the one that is based on you knowing which direction is North and should be looked at upside down half the time.

2
After listening to all this contrariwise speech of yours I’m pretty certain I’m going to have an anxiety attack any second now!

1
Not to worry, I’m pretty sure there’s an app for that.

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